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History in the making.

Updated: May 29, 2020

Like the generations before us that lived and survived wars, depressions and civil unrest we too now all have a shared story for the books.

This time and space will forever mark the rest of the history of us. And by us, I am talking about the human race. When I first learned about this thing I think I was always in the mindset that it was serious because no one knew anything about it and had never seen anything quite like it. This jolted me but somehow thought science would come to the rescue before anything could really create too much damage. Every day that has come and gone since has been more surreal than the next. In a time in our country where political unrest was feeling quite heavy and now all of just seems so fleeting.

It goes without saying that in crisis the best and the worst creeps out of both society and even ourselves. From essentials being hoarded and people dismissing considerations for others well being for their own agendas to random acts of kindness of people leaving thousand dollar tips and neighbors standing in their front lawns singing happy birthday. Acts in society seem kinda departed from our own daily lives but we are the folks that up make those societies so ultimately it reflects on who we are. I ran across a study that topics the idea of attitude versus behavior. I am willing to bet you consider yourself a kind, intelligent and thoughtful person? I wonder if you felt a hint of panic and perhaps grabbed more toilet paper than you needed or left your house for a drink before they all closed because you felt you were healthy and no way it could affect you? This does not make for a monster or an evil person at all but it does showcase how we often behave in ways our values or attitudes don't align.

What is my point? My point is that we are so ready to condemn others for acting in ways we find "wrong" or stupid but the truth when we are pushed we don't behave in ways that match our values. All this to say - we are human. We might say or do things we would otherwise condemn in others and wouldn't be so wonderful if we gave each other a little grace and be more gentle with others and ourselves too. I thought I was being pretty level - headed and even keel with my emotions and then I awoke with this heavy feeling and basically and couldn't shake this sadness for all the hurt out there - powerless and somehow guilty for feeling bad because I am so blessed to have my health, a home and someone to go through this thing with. So conflicted about my feelings. As I was making the bed my husband walks in griping about a work thing and I dismiss it, he goes on to complain about a meeting of something and sulks about the house snapping at me for whatever - initially I wanted to unleash the beast but thought better of it and took a sec to breathe. It was then when I realized that just as I was going through my thing he is probably feeling some kind way and was figuring out how to let it out. So I let him do just that - let that shit out. I sat there calmly after I recognized myself in him. Not an hour later he walks into the kitchen where I was and kisses my forehead apologizing for being a dick. No - I said you were being human, next time my turn.

It is at this time in our history where we will have to rely on each other for all kinds of things like love, support, connection, grace, prayers, food, money....Our county's leadership is trying albeit some overtly better than others but beyond our criticisms of the powers that be we could look for the ways we can raise those around us and count yourself in there too. Self-care is okay - physical and mental, keeping you healthy and safe helps you to stay strong enough to hold your family, coworker or whomever up too. As we are living through this we are finding that this thing sees no race, no social class, celebrities (even the tone-deaf ones...) or age, healthy, illness - no matter, this is the great equalizer to our humanity.

So how will we recount this time in history? When our children's children read this off of their holographic books? Time will certainly tell, in the meantime, let's take the opportunity to influence how much good can come from a terrible time. Funny how we can still look to the sky with our masks on see how beautiful a sunset is, it reminds me that tomorrow will come and with that, the promise that we will heal and life will move forward - different for sure but how and the kind of different is up to us.

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